Thus Declared
WHEREAS societal customs and climatological considerations necessitate the wearing of a shirt and,
WHEREAS the plurality of shirts available must be rendered ineligible for wear due to factors including but not limited to:
- being unlaundered
- being of an incorrect fit
- "not working with these pants,"
SUCH THAT the sole shirt remaining under consideration for this day's efforts is of a color commonly known as "brown" and uncommonly known as "coffee and cream,"
BE IT RESOLVED by the duly constituted authority of the APARTMENT THREE COUNCIL that this day, 10 March 2009, by henceforth known as either "Brown Shirt Day," or "Coffee and Cream Shirt Day,"
CELEBRATED by all legal and illegal residents of Apartment Three by means of wearing a brown shirt.
BY MY AUTHORITY, President of Apartment Three.