Brian’s Neighborhood

Manic Monday #116

If the statement, 'You are what you eat' was true, I would be a salt statue.

If you had to have one piece of music (softly) playing in your mind for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?
"Amazing Grace", flute. I need to get reminded always how blessed my life is and thankful I should be.

What is the most important thing in any relationship?
Commitment. If you don't commit as a friend, you won't do things a friend should do. If you don't commit yourself as a parent, you'd make an irresponsible parent. If you don't commit yourself as a spouse to your significant other, you'd be an asshole. Hehe.

if you have just one stalk, is it called an asparagi?

eh, who cares.  They're soooooo tasty sauted with a little butter, ground pepper and sea salt.  I only get asparagus when the market has nice thin stalks - if its as thick as your pinky finger, its no good!  This morning while wandering through the produce section to see what looked good, the asparagus selection was so outstanding we built a meal around it.  I'm impressed that even my four year old daughter likes asparagus.  Maybe that isn't all that big of a deal, but I never had asparagus growing up (my first time was probably in the last 3-5 years) so it still seems exotic to me.

clipped from manbabies.com

( brought to you tonight by Naughty by Nature's "Hip-Hop Hurray" among others...)

So, I decided to take a MAJOR break from life and go to the movies not once (for the aforementioned Iron Man previewing) --Cliff note version: AW HELL NAW. That movie ain't for no 6 year old boy. It shows weapons of mass destruction and they use very graphic depictions of the horrors of war that Stark Industries (aka Haliburton) has caused.

Ingman Note Version:

This was a near-blatantly obvious critique of the current war AND might be it's most subversive cuz this movie is gonna make BANK! BIG TIME!

I loved it. It was probably my favorite of all the Marvel comic movies. Tho, I still think Silver Surfer was pretty fuking cool.  Saw it at the Drafthouse (of course, b/c I live within walking distance of a drafthouse--aka the coolest fuking theater on the planet.). It was a major factor in my consideration of current relocation loacales).

If it weren't for all the war stuff, I'd say the movie  *might* be okay b/c the superhero aspect of it is really well-done. Tony Stark is played to utter perfection by Robert Downey Jr. Favreau is clearly a fan of the comic series and it shows in his face--he's in a scene with Stan Lee (who MUST, according to some unwritten code of conduct, appear in EVERY Marvel movie). Favreau has this shin-eating grin like, "I'm in a scene with Stan FUKING LEE--every comic book geek's godhead!" Not only that, he (Favreau) made the damn movie and it's like a kid living out his superhero dreams when Iron Man goes flying around L.A. There's a certain nostalgia in it's retrospective vision of adulthood and atoning for one's mistakes. I thought it was ultimately very sweet and well done. So glad to see Robert Downey, Jr. working again. If you have yet to see him in Zodiac. You must. Go. Now. I'll still be here.

(at some point in the near- to mid future): See? He's good, isn't he? He plays that character to the nines. Jake is good too. But, he's Jake; so there's that. Was that movie just too gruesome to win an award at the Oscars or have we all been lulled into a stupor by the Jigsaw series and The Scary Movies? I dunno. I love that opening montage.

(insert awkward transition here)

A little more editing and Iron Man *could* have been PG. But, see above. Nice job, Favreau. Many people clapped. I love it when an audience claps. It's like this shared experience of seeing something exceptionally well done.You're moved to show appreciation for it as a piece of work--like a well played solo or concert. Who cares if the film-makers et al can hear you? Though, umm, I have been to those and it was awkwardly less enthusiastic than say, today's movie. LOVED the fact that they got the song. Like many in the audience (at least those of my age), I went home and put it on the iPod. mini-SPOILER: Be sure to stay through the credits for a preview of the sequel featuring Samuel L. Jackson. I think it's...Captain America (they made a movie of that a long time ago that I don't think ever came out to theaters); Hulk; Spider-man; and Iron-Man. I might note that according to IMDB there's an Avengers movie scheduled for release in 2011. There's also another version of the Hulk coming out. What Ang Lee's version wasn't good enough for you? The man won a fuking Oscar, give him a break. I'm out of my element here though b/c I wasn't that big of a comic book geek. Baseball cards, now, are a different story. So, I'll climb down off my soapbox and let somebody else (Taylor? Michael? Anybody?) take on the issue of comic book adaptations.

THEN:

I decided to make a day of it and bought a ticket for Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I've wanted to see it for a while as it's an Apatow affair and Jason Segal is in it (assuming that one of the other F&G people would show up along with Paul Rudd)  SPOILER: who actually is in it. OTHER SPOILER: Jason Segal goes full frontal on several occasions. Apparently after Borat anything is possible. And while we didn't get the same bang for the buck as it were from FSM as we did with B, Jason Segal apparently is well hung. It's almost like--check me out, ladies. I'm an actor. I wrote this movie AND I'm hung like horse. But, that's another Apatow trademark....The dude who plays the British Rock Star Boyfriend (did they actually give him a name? Oh, Aldus or something like that?) is good. He's got this Dominic Monoghan on Lost aspect to him and it works well for the character. The song that is his "Big Hit" is a great bit of parody. Segal had fun with that, obviously. THIRD SPOILER: There's this quick little bit in the middle of the credits with Jason Bateman and Sarah Marshall appearing in a CSI-like drama coming to NBC this fall. It's such a tremendous FUK YOU to NBC from Apatow that I was moved. The Bateman rocks! Unassuming FOURTH SPOILER: Cake's "Love You Madly" is the theme song to FSM. Yeah, Cake! I hope that they/he got something out of it. (NOTE to SELF: Must look into rights for using music in documentary b/c otherwise I'm gonna have to pay up the wazoo for them later. Go with smaller bands... Cake?)

Now that I think of it, though, F&G is good b/c of Paul Feig's scripts as well as the actors' performances. Maybe Apatow is not as godhead as he's being made to be. Hmmm.

One last comment about FSM, puppets? Why puppets? I think I get why baldomom doesn't like them. They might have just climbed a wrung up my heebie-jeebie ladder. Seems a bit like, "Let's see what we can get away with".... but without the cajones to go as far as Meet the Feebles. BTW, yep, that Peter Jackson. Weird. Weird. Weird.

Since I had to run over to make the initial screening, I missed the previews and the Drafthouse's notorious pre-screening entertainment for Iron Man (I saw it later after my screening finished). I was determined not to miss the ones for FSM as I've been really wanting me some F&G. And, they showed an episode beforehand. I didn't get to see but the last few minutes, but it was won of the later ones.

Lessons learned:
1) Sometimes, a day at the movies is the best thing you can do for yourself.
2) Pineapple Express looks absolutely awesome. When Apatow and Rogen write together, they rock. One of them alone and it's not quite up to the same caliber.
3) Regardless of what the credits say, you can tell when someone else has had a hand in a solo project at some stage. See above and/or Amee Mann's cover of "One"; Kurt and Courtney; Kurt and Dave Grohl. I could go on all night
4) Still didn't get my pimp-cane. But my knee is feeling better. Maybe I just got to keep resting it as much as possible
5)  No more running across the street to get to that screening of whatever when you leave 5 minutes before said screening, Jim.
6) Gotta get on the summer camp tip manana. Multiple messages left ought to get some response, eh?
7) Most importantly, the path of least resistance might be the best path of all. THIS coming from Mr.Sarcasm himself, Dr. House.
8) I really want to learn to play some Cake songs on the guitar.
9) I'm going to my reunion not for the obvious 20 years later reasons, but b/c I want to.
10) Hawaii is so fuking gorgeous.  Must start saving money for that condo/ shack in the fishing village of Kihei.

I'm getting tired and there's school tomorrow. I said I'd have some grading done, too. Oh well..
Aloha,
J

• 10:53 tinyurl.com/696e32 - Three-year-old boy has never slept; parents maintain 24-hour vigil
• 11:38 "Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything." - Floyd Dell
• 11:42 tinyurl.com/5pl9cx - Individually Wrapped Cashew Is Full of Fail

Updated at twitter, Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter. (Me @ twitter)

What's the best thing about your mom?

She has always been there for me when I needed her.

I know I talk about my city a lot but that is because I love it so much! It's a fantastic city with a real community sense about it and it has one of the best school systems around. Everyone else that lives here loves it too! They loved it so much that about 25 years ago they dubbed the first Saturday in May 'We Love Homewood Day'. I don't know the details of it's origin because I've only lived here for 7 years but today it is a huge fund raiser for the Middle and High School band programs. It starts out at 8am with a carnival and arts and crafts thingy at Patriot Park. At 6pm the We Love Homewood Day parade steps off from the library and marches down Oxmoor Road ending in Edgewood. Edgewood is a little neighborhood in Homewood that is as quaint as quaint can be. All of the streets have sidewalks and the homes are quaint cottages (the property values are through the roof in Homewood, especially in Edgewood so house flippers have descended upon the neighborhood and demolished the original homes, replacing them with gargantuous, multi-story homes that are too big for the modest size lots, this is unfortunate but many of the original homes remain). When the parade ends there is a 'dance in the street' in Edgewood for everyone to celebrate the city they love!

Hailey has been involved with We Love Homewood Day since she was in the 7th grade. She was in the H.E.A.T. group in 7th and 8th grade and working the carnival rides was part of the community service that the middle-schoolers in this group do. H.E.A.T. stands for Homewood Exploration Adventurer Team. The group was founded by a member of the Homewood Park and Recreation board specifically for Homewood students in middle school. In return for the community service they provide the group gets to go on various adventures. During Hailey's 2 years in this group she went white water rafting, snorkeling with manatees in Florida and skiing in Gatlinburg, among other things.

Of course, since she's been in High School she has marched in the parade with the High School band (that's one of my pictures by the way). The whole town comes out to watch the parade and always gives the band tremendous support and cheers! When I'm walking along side them, trying to video/photograph as much as I can I see the parents with their little kids, holding them up and pointing and saying "Look! There's the Band!". I can't even describe in words how PROUD it makes me feel that my daughter is a part of this!

So this year, Mother Nature played a dirty trick on us and decided to rain and I mean pour down rain on Saturday morning. The carnival and arts and crafts thingy was cancelled. But, by parade time everything had dried up, the sun was shining and it was absolutely perfect weather for a parade!

So here's my pics and one video that I made:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notice Hailey telling me (nicely) to go away LOL!

 

Last weekend was the second in a series of Test Kitchen events which began in March.  Given that it was the day after BlueHat, there were a couple folks from out of town who got to attend this time which was fantastic. 

For the May Test Kitchen we tested the following breakfast items (copied from the invitation):

1. blueberry waffles.  in Test Kitchen 1 we tested how to make perfect waffles.  Now what happens when you throw the fruit variable in?  Should the blueberries be in the waffles or on top of them?  if they are in the waffles, do you gently fold them into the batter or get out the kitchen equivalent of power tools, the KitchenAid MixMaster and blend them in, crushing their little blue souls?

2. broken yolk eggs.  both scrambled and omelet style.  some people mix in milk, some use water, some add no fluid at all.  But what results in the fluffiest and tastiest eggs?

3. Bloody Marys in the Chem Lab makeup test.  Last Test Kitchen we didn't fulfill our Chem requirements and have to do it over.  I'm bringing in a specially trained Lab Assistant to run this experiment for us so maybe we can take Chem201 next session.       

Plus we had bacon, bangers, smoothies, and fresh fruit.

 

PARTICIPANTS: Bryan, Amy, Vinnie, Shyama, Divide, Jacqueline, Dan, Christopher

 

TEST RESULTS:

Test One: Waffles

 

Methodology: All waffles were cooked on maximum heat unless otherwise noted. 

The first batch was made with frozen blueberries. Waffles were made at 3.5, 4.0, and 4.5 minutes, the 4.5 minute batch was preferred as shorter cook times resulted in soggier internals. 

The second batch was made with fresh blueberries.  , Waffles were made at 3.5, 4.0, and 4.5 minutes, the 4.0 minute batch was preferred for presentation and external texture.

 

EPIC FAIL:

we tried a fresh blueberry batch at a lower heat for 5 minutes, then high heat for 1 minute in an attempt to get a more thoroughly cooked inner texture without losing the crispy exterior.  This test was an unmitigated disaster.  The interior of the waffle essentially steamed (hypothesis: added moisture from fresh fruit caused complications), so when the waffle iron was opened the waffle lost all cohesiveness and structural integrity and de-laminated. 

 

 

Conclusion: frozen blueberries are sweeter than fresh blueberries, but fresh blueberries have better texture.  To increase blueberry flavor with fresh blueberries you need more blueberries.  But too many whole blueberries diminishes structural integrity of the batter, so the blueberries need to be aggressively mixed so they break up in the batter, then throw in a handful or two of whole blueberries and gently fold them in so they remain in berry form before cooking at high heat for 4.0-4.5 minutes. 

If we hadn't all been too full to eat more, we would have tested a part frozen/part fresh combination of blueberries to see if that solved the sweet/texture tradeoff. 

 

 

 

As in the prior Test Kitchen, three pure maple syrups were tested: Stonewall Kitchens, Spring Tree, and Shady Maple.  There was a clear preference for syrup #1 (Stonewall Kitchens), though you can see from the photo that our Master Documentation Expert, Vinnie, disagreed with the popular vote and thought #2 (Spring Tree) was best.

 

 

Test Two: Broken Yolk Eggs

 

Methodology: I put Lab Assistants Bryan and Amy in charge of the eggs, their notes are below.  There were two batches, the first had no liquid added and feedback was that the eggs were a bit heavy, but very yummy.  The second batch had some milk added, and their fluffiness was better.  At the same time the sharp cheddar cheese variable changed between batches, the higher cheese concentration in batch one was preferred.  Other variables: ham, garlic, mushrooms, scallions.  You can see in the photo that the eggs were browned, feedback on that was all positive, that it added really good texture and flavor.

 

Conlcusion: Bryan makes really good eggs.  Garlic is good, as is sharp cheddar cheese and ham.  A little bit of milk whisked into the eggs will make them fluffier.  Browning the eggs results in good texture.

 

 

 

Test Three: Bloody Marys

Formulae: I printed three different bloody mary recipes found on the internet and set them out with all the necessary materials prior to the start of the Test Kitchen.

Conclusion: you have to really want a bloody mary to go to the trouble to make them - six ingredients minimum, with specific tools and measurements...  however, this Test Kitchen, we assigned a mixmaster to the ChemLab early and very quickly determined that Formula 3 was vastly superior to Formula 1 or 2 which were deemed too 'ketchupy'.

By popular request, the superior Bloody Mary recipe:

 

For rimming the glass:

1 Tbsp kosher salt (we used table salt)

2 tsp celery salt

wedge of lemon 

 

The Bloody Mary:

3 oz (2 jiggers) vodka

generous squeeze of lemon juice

several shakes of worcestershire sauce

3-4 drops of tabasco sauce

8 oz tomato juice

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp celery salt

1/8 tsp pepper

 

Directions:

rim glass with salt and fill with ice

add vodka, lemon juice, worcestershire sauce and tabasco sauce

stir in tomato juice with long spoon

add salt, celery salt, and pepper

stir again and serve with a wedge of lemon

 

 

TEST KITCHEN SUMMARY:

WAY less chaotic than the March edition, we must be getting the hang of this.

Very fun, everyone left with full bellies, we are definitely doing this again in June (or maybe July, depending on my schedule).

Call Dan at 9am to wake him up so he doesn't arrive so late that he gets cold leftovers.  :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special thanks:

Lab Assistants Amy and Bryan for running test 2, baking the bacon, and cooking the bangers.  Once again, the morning would not have been a success without their help, I couldn't have pulled it off without them.  I think I'm going to have to promote them above Lab Assistant...  Research Assistants perhaps

Our Mad Scientist for managing the bar and ensuring the ChemLab was successfully completed. .

Vinnie and Shyama are the most amazing Lab Assistants when it comes to documentation (the fourth page is particularly hysterical).  And their smoothies were teh awesomz too.

 

I had a great time and can't thank everyone enough for coming over and participating in the Test Kitchen Experiment.  I hope you all come back for the next one!

 

It's really for the last couple days.

Where are you?
And I'm so sorry.
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight.
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on,
So haunting every time.
And as I stared
I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides.
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason.
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight.

Don't waste your time on me
You're already
The voice inside my head.
- Blink 182, "I Miss You"